


I've Been Lost (But Dear I'm Found)

by Luna_Myth



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Developing Relationship, Dinner, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Looking For People, Love, Missing Persons, POV Third Person Omniscient, Present Tense, Relationship(s), Talking, Travel, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7363831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_Myth/pseuds/Luna_Myth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss are looking for people they’ve lost. What they find is each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh pretty girl, I know that I just met you

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by claire-starsword's idea for a story where Natsu and Lisanna are both looking for their missing families.

The hallway that stands between the reception lobby and the room full of records is narrow. The old branch of the town hall that contains it doesn’t often get many visitors and no one ever comments on it, but it is far too small for two file-laden teenagers who are moving the opposite directions. But as absorbed in their records as they are, neither one of them notices this until it’s too late.

Files and scraps of paper fly into the air, as well as two laminated badges, and both teenagers start in surprise.

“Hey!” one complains. “Watch where you’re going!”

He cuts himself short at the sight of the other teenager, a girl slightly younger than him. She’s shorter than him, too, smaller, but from the sparkle in her eyes and her short white hair, he wouldn’t want to be against her in a fight. He’s not sure she would fight fair. Right now her head is tilted at him, large blue eyes questioning, and when a gentle smile curves her lips he knows she’s about to chide him.

“Watch where you’re going yourself,” she says. “It takes two people to cause an accident.”

Still, she kneels down and starts gathering their papers, picking up a laminated badge that she hopes is hers. It’s not. As the stranger crouches down beside her to help, she glances from the badge to his face.

“Natsu Dragneel?” she reads off the badge. He looks up, a confused expression on his face, and she hands him the badge, smiling. Natsu Dragneel looks cute when he’s confused, cuter than when he’s annoyed, anyways. His expression clears and he grins back at her. He looks even cuter when he smiles and Lisanna wants to giggle at his strangely sharp teeth. They remind her of fangs and she thinks that he would make a very fluffy creature of some sort, his coarse pink hair extending over his form. But then again, he looks very nice as a human, too.

“That’s me,” he says, looking down at another badge in his hand distractedly. “I guess you must be Lisanna Strauss.”

“Yeah, I am,” her voice is quieter, meeker, and she begins picking up papers with more vigor, as if eager to hurry onwards with her life.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you,” Natsu says gruffly, having nearly finished with the papers strewn about the hall. He starts to stand up when Lisanna grabs his arm.

“It’s fine, Natsu, but let me see those,” she gestures to the files he has tightly pressed against his chest with one arm. “I’m missing something.”

For a girl he’s only known for five minutes, Lisanna is very forward and he spreads the files on the floor without complaint. She lets go of his arm and he rubs it subconsciously before sprawling back on the floor of the too narrow hallway. Visitors are rare, anyways, and Natsu is puzzled.

“What could you be missing?” Natsu asks. “I only picked up a bunch of stuff about people who have visited this town.”

Natsu is acting more annoyed than he is and somehow, Lisanna can tell. So she continues talking to him as if she’s known him her whole life. She likes the reactions it gets out of him, anyways, and she enjoys pretending that she has a friend in the world.

“That’s what I’m looking through as well,” Lisanna informs him. She holds up one of the files Natsu set down. “And this is mine.”

“Is it?” Natsu squints at it comically. “It has that label on it, from the same section I’ve been checking out.” He looks closer, assuming the best of Lisanna. He doubts that she’s lying and why would she want this file anyways?

“Oh yeah,” he says in realization, leaning back again. “I couldn’t find that one. You must have gotten here first. Why do you need a list of all the people who used credit cards to buy things at that weird gas station on Main Street?”

“Why do _you_ need it?” Lisanna counters, finally standing up with all her papers retrieved. Natsu follows her, files in hand.

Natsu hesitates for only a moment before answering. “I-I’m looking for someone. I’m hoping they came through here.”

Lisanna stops in surprise and turns to him. Once again, Natsu can’t help but notice her eyes. The sparkle in them is soft now, but the blue is still the most intense he’s ever seen. Lisanna opens her mouth, falters, and tries again. Both of them take in the other automatically, one in confusion, and the other in uncertain hope.

“Me too,” says Lisanna, her whole aura suddenly demure and almost innocent. Natsu still wouldn’t dream of fighting her, but for a different reason. In a moment Lisanna has become the sweetest girl he’s ever met and he wants it to stay that way.

They enter the room at the end of the hall and Lisanna sets down her papers on a table. For lack of a better idea, Natsu sets his down as well, on the same table. He takes a seat to look through them and Lisanna finally opens her mouth to speak.

“Who are you looking for, Natsu?” she has to ask, taking a seat beside him. He turns towards her, grateful for someone to talk to. He doesn’t like doing research half as much as any of his other searching tactics.

“My dad,” Natsu answers in a voice full of quiet emotion. “A guy named Igneel. I don’t suppose you know him. The last time I saw him was nearly ten years ago.”

“Oh,” Lisanna says quietly back. They have the whole room to themselves, but neither one of them has spoken above a low murmur yet.

“I’m looking for my siblings,” Lisanna tells him, her focus all on his face rather than the papers she’s found. “Mirajane and Elfman.”

Natsu nods, his face serious for the first time since Lisanna walked into him. An understanding is passing between the two of them and they remain quiet for a moment.

“I’m going to find him,” Natsu can’t help but say. “I’ve been looking for a long time, but I know he’s out there and I’m going to find him.”

Lisanna picks up a paper and the spell is broken.

“I’m going to find my family too,” she says. “But first I need to keep looking for them.”

Natsu reluctantly opens a file, his face already screwed up in concentration. “Yeah. Right.”

He starts reading, searching through the text for anything familiar, anything he knows, but after a moment, he leans back in his chair and puts his arms behind his head in a way unique to him. Lisanna notices the change and looks up at him from her own files.

“I hate reading all this,” he complains. “Asking people if they’ve seen him is much easier. When I find Igneel, I’m never going in one of these buildings again.”

Lisanna stares listlessly at her papers. “I know what you mean. This isn’t my favorite technique either. But I haven’t been very lucky just asking people, so I knew this could be worth a shot.”

“Yeah, but still, they couldn’t have made the font size bigger or something?”

Having had that same thought herself on occasion, Lisanna laughs and Natsu joins in uncertainly, not sure what she found funny.

Natsu leans forward in his chair and attempts to stare down his pile of papers. Lisanna sighs and bites her lip in determination.

“Alright, Natsu, we have work to do,” she says, trying to focus. “No more comments out of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he exclaims, shooting her a look while still hunched over the table. But Lisanna merely smiles and pokes him teasingly.

“Like that. No more of that. We’re trying to focus here!”

Grumbling, Natsu keeps reading. It helps when he tells himself that each paper looked through is one step further on his way to finding Igneel. Lisanna besides him is doing something similar. The desire to find their families has driven each of them for so long that getting through a stack of files turns out to be one of the easier things to do. It doesn’t take either of them too long to see that there’s nothing useful written in the papers, as much as they wish there was.

“Damn it,” Natsu hisses as he closes the final file. He sits back in his chair again, scowling, and Lisanna has to agree.

“You didn’t have any luck either, then,” she says, standing up to gather her papers once more. Natsu shoves out his chair and rises to help her. He doesn’t want her to leave the room without him.

“No kidding I didn’t,” he says, holding open the door as the two of them go to return the useless files. “All that work for nothing!”

“Come on, Natsu,” says Lisanna, a strange feeling rising in her. “Surely it wasn’t all for nothing. You definitely gained something through reading those papers.”

“Brain cells, maybe, but that’s not what I’m looking for!”

“Are you sure?” Lisanna teases. “You could stand to gain a few more.”

Natsu huffs indignantly and Lisanna opens the door to the record room as they continue talking.

“I was going to say I got to meet you, but I won’t if you keep talking to me like that!”

“I’m only teasing, Natsu,” Lisanna says honestly. “I like you fine just the way you are.”

His eyes widen and he tries to hide by burrowing into the scarf he’s wearing, but Lisanna can see his flaming cheeks anyways. She lets herself giggle this time.

Natsu’s thoughts have gone all fuzzy and he can’t figure out why, so he says, “Yeah, well, whatever, I guess.” But when Lisanna looks at him in concern, with caring blue eyes that have been fascinating him this whole time, his thoughts solidify into one concrete sentence.

“Would you… like to meet me for dinner, Lisanna?”

\----------------------------------------------------------

The diner is quiet as restaurants go, with only Natsu, Lisanna, and one other group of people there to create noise. The staff is small, only a handful of people, and at the end of the day, none of them have it in them to be very loud. Natsu had picked a good place for talking to Lisanna. It is almost like it is just the two of them.

The food is also decent, but Lisanna soon realizes that Natsu is willing to eat just about anything.

“That’s kind of excessive, Natsu,” Lisanna comments, watching him pour ketchup on his fries.

“What do you know?” he says defensively. “I like a lot of ketchup on my fries! And condiments are free, you know. This is a good opportunity to stock up on calories.”

The last bit comes out muffled as he pops several fries in his mouth and for a fleeting moment Natsu worries Lisanna is going to be disgusted. He knows his manners aren’t great, but he’s never had reason to care.

A smile spreads across Lisanna’s face and relief floods Natsu’s expression for some reason Lisanna isn’t aware of. She leans forward and selects a fry to eat herself. Something in Natsu’s phrasing gives her pause and she tilts her head at him.

“Do you travel around a lot?” she asks. “Looking for your dad? Does that make it difficult to hold a job?”

Natsu’s eyebrows raise slightly as his only sign of surprise. “Yeah, I do. And I guess it does, but I don’t think about it too much. My main goal is to find Igneel. Everything else…”

“Can wait?” Lisanna guesses. She knows that feeling very well.

“Yeah!” Natsu says again. Then he grins, leaning back with an air of contentment as he eats more of his dinner. “I should have guessed you’d understand, seeing as you’re looking for people yourself. How’s that going?”

Lisanna’s face falls and Natsu nearly regrets the question. He doesn’t want to cause her pain. But then she answers and he feels a spark of kinship between them.

“It _is_ going,” Lisanna says, “and that’s all it needs to. I’m going to find them someday, so that’s all that matters.”

“Same here,” says Natsu, swallowing his fries. “You can meet him, if you want.”

“I’d love to,” Lisanna smiles, buoyed by Natsu’s enthusiasm and determination. Then she becomes hesitant, another question on the tip of her tongue. “What happened to him? If you don’t mind saying. I’ll tell you how my siblings disappeared if you want me to.”

“It’s no big deal,” Natsu says even though his heart has started pounding. “I’ll tell you. As long as you tell me yours afterwards. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.”

“Deal,” Lisanna agrees instantly. She wants to know more about Natsu and telling him her own story is only fair. And a part of her preens at the idea that he wants to know more about her too. She thinks that if she can be friends with anyone, her best chance is with the person right in front of her.

“Back when I was a kid,” Natsu begins, “I lived in a hunting lodge with my dad. We were out in the middle of nowhere, in a forest, and it was great because I could run around doing whatever. My dad taught me a few things that he thought were important and that was it for school. I spent a lot of time outside with him.”

Natsu has to stop himself from saying ‘it was great’ again. He knows that it was great and he knows he misses his father and he knows there’s no point impressing that upon Lisanna because he’s pretty sure she knows too.

“Anyways, one day I woke up in the lodge and he wasn’t there,” Natsu continues, trying to keep his voice steady. “I went outside to look for him, but I couldn’t find him anywhere, so I stayed in the lodge for a few more days, hoping he’d come back. When he didn’t, I walked to the nearest town and started asking people about him. No one had seen him. I kept going from town to town, looking for him, but eventually social services caught me.”

He stops and has a drink of his milkshake, still leaning back against the rubbery red booth of the diner. “And that’s how I ended up where I am today! More or less.”

Lisanna takes in his story quietly, picking at her dinner as she does so. It’s a different story than hers, but the result is the same. A kid left to go through life alone.

“A deal is a deal,” she says, preparing to tell her own story. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Yeah, sure,” says Natsu. He’s busy eating his hamburger, but when Lisanna speaks his attention is glued on her. He enjoys hearing what she has to say. He secretly hopes she likes what he has to say as well. For the first time in a long time, Natsu thinks he might be able to understand someone and that someone might be able to understand him. He knows he would really like to be friends with Lisanna.

“My siblings and I used to live in a town not too far from here,” says Lisanna softly. “It was just the three of us, but it was very nice. Things were good. Everyone was happy.”

Lisanna feels years younger when she tells this story, more vulnerable than she is at any other time. Natsu is riveted by her openness; he can feel his cheeks being tinted with red as she continues in the same sweet voice. She’s… really cute, he has to notice. He wants to protect her and tell her jokes and make her laugh, make her happy, but he can’t, at least not yet, not while he’s still focused on his goal.

“But then there was a storm, a really bad one, and we didn’t have a basement to shelter in, so we all huddled together in the bathroom to wait it out,” Lisanna’s expression became downcast, with a bittersweet smile. “The lights had all gone out and it was dark. I could feel Mirajane and Elfman next to me, but I couldn’t see them and there was too much noise from the wind and rain to hear anything. I remember a loud crash and then the rain started pouring in. Shortly after, I fell unconscious.”

She looks up at Natsu, who is troubled from the story, and studies his face.

“When I woke up, they are both gone and the town was almost unrecognizable,” she says. “I couldn’t find them anywhere, so eventually I went to the police station and they took it from there.”

Lisanna returns to her meal, signifying the end of the story, and lists her head at Natsu thoughtfully. “I didn’t like foster care very much. What did you think of it?”

“Oh that whole thing?” Natsu says, suddenly eager to turn to conversation to something blithe. “I got out of there as soon as I could. I didn’t want to waste time stuck in one place with my dad out there somewhere.”

“I can’t imagine your escape attempts were very subtle, Natsu,” Lisanna says in an amused tone, already imagining a smaller version of Natsu kicking open the door of a house and strolling out, talking loudly all the while.

“Well what about you?” Natsu counters. “Are you telling me you just stayed wherever they put you?”

“No, but I like to think I used at least a bit of subtlety to get out of foster care,” Lisanna smirks. “How many attempts did it take you?”

“Uh…” Natsu’s mind blanks completely on a number and he’s sure Lisanna can see it in his face. “I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t that many!”

Lisanna giggles at Natsu’s expression and his cheeks heat again. He tells himself it’s hot in the diner, but he knows it’s not true. Lisanna’s cheekbones have become stained a light pink to match, but Natsu is too busy lying to himself to notice. They both continue with dinner.

“I’ve enjoyed talking to you,” Lisanna says hesitantly. “And I’d be happy to keep on the lookout for your father. You said I could meet him, after all.”

Natsu meets her eyes for a moment before looking away. “Thanks. You’re pretty fun to talk to as well. And I-I’ll keep an ear out for anything related to your siblings.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Lisanna says, with a hint of something like approval. Her eyes are sparkling again and Natsu thinks she might be teasing him about something, but he can’t guess what. So he pretends to grumble at her, acting for all the world annoyed, but really he’s looking for a sign that he’s doing something right. Lisanna laughs and he thinks he might have one.

“What are you planning to do next?” asks Lisanna. “Since the records didn’t turn up anything.”

“I don’t know,” Natsu admits, “I might just ask around the town. I think I had the right idea when I was starting out.”

“It’s as good a plan as any,” Lisanna says with an affection grin. But then it occurs to her that they’ll be going their separate ways after this. That seems wrong to her, somehow, and she opens her mouth to continue. “Hand me your phone. If you do find a lead on my siblings, you’ll need to contact me, right?”

This is starting to feel suspiciously like they’re wrapping up, but neither of them like the idea. Natsu passes over his phone and moodily eats the ice cream he’d ordered for dessert.

“Thanks.” Lisanna types in her phone number, putting herself into Natsu’s contacts simply as Lisanna. Then she hands it back to him.

“What if you need to call me?” Natsu asks, shrewd for once in his life. He hopes that she’ll actually just want to call him, but he knows how hard it is to stay friends with someone who travels around as much as he does. Lisanna does the same thing, though. Maybe they have a chance after all.

“Oh, right,” she laughs, handing him her phone. “I don’t exchange phone numbers with people very often. Maybe it’s something I should do more.” She thinks that it’s working out pretty well this time at least.

Natsu has to resist the urge to bring a hand up to his hair as he types in his own phone number. He’s flustered, something he doesn’t experience often. Lisanna is blushing, cheerful and teasing and giddy, flustered in her own way. They make quite the pair, with hearts beating too fast and lungs ready to laugh or tease or argue all in the space of a minute. Neither of them had ever thought sitting and talking could be as entertaining as this dinner has made it out to be.

“There,” Natsu says, his heart pounding, but a smile on his face as he passes back the phone. “Y-you can call me whenever, you know. I sort of make my own hours.”

Lisanna nods, thoughtful, but happy. She has one last request to make of Natsu before she can call it a day.

“Since we’re both going to be in this area for a while,” she starts off, “why don’t we try working together? I mean, we’re both looking for people, right? And… I enjoy your company.”

Natsu startles at her suggestion, jerking away from his drink in surprise, but a grin has spread over his face and he’s excited far more than annoyed. He’s getting his wish to be friends with Lisanna, it seems, and he’s getting a partner out of the deal, too. They could be fantastic partners-in-crime. Cleverness and determination and optimism and strength all in one. The partnership would make the both of them very happy. Natsu just needs to accept it.

“Yeah!” he blurts out in his enthusiasm. “I think that’s a great idea! Do you want to meet up somewhere to talk to people? Wherever you like is fine with me.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

There’s no one else in the gas station with Natsu and Lisanna. It’s a rainy day, the type best spent indoors with friends and family. But for Natsu and Lisanna, that’s impossible, so they carry on their search as they always do, with one difference. They might each have a friend to help them. They certainly hope so.

 Lisanna grabs Natsu’s arm and pulls him away from the counter and the apologetic employee running the till. It’s another bust; no one knows anything, not that Lisanna expected much different.

“Come on, Natsu,” she says softly, “She doesn’t know anything about our families. Let’s go.”

But it’s been another long day and Natsu can feel his anger rising at their lack of success. He never has any success. It’s not fair. Just once, someone should know something. But no one knows anything, not even Natsu himself. He doesn’t know where his father is. He doesn’t know if he’s alive. He doesn’t even know if his dad wants to be found anymore. He doesn’t know what happened or why his dad left. He doesn’t know.

He stops just in front of the door, his face downcast and eyes hidden by his hair. “But I don’t know anything either. I have no idea what happened to him.” He clenches his hands into fists. “I’ve been searching for years and I still don’t know! How is that possible?!”

Natsu is about to slam his fist into the wall when Lisanna puts her hand on his shoulder. He freezes completely, tension running through his body. But then Lisanna smiles at him, sweet and gentle, and all his tension drains away except for a tight knot between his shoulders that always remains, a lingering feeling that he’s not doing enough to find his father.

Lisanna leads him to just outside the gas station and they hover off to the side of the entrance. They’re in front of a bench, but neither of them sit down. It doesn’t occur to them, fortunately, because it’s rainy and cold for early spring and the bench has been soaked with drops of water falling from the overhang of the station. Natsu shoves his hands in his pockets and looks up at Lisanna through the mist, his teeth gritted in frustration.

“I know how you feel,” Lisanna begins, “but that’s no reason to let your anger get the best of you.”

She wants to make him feel better, but she struggles with the same doubts herself. If she knew how to absolve them, she would have done so already. So Lisanna settles on empathy and takes a slow, deep breath, moving to meet Natsu’s gaze.

“I don’t know what happened to my siblings,” she tells him. His stare is hard, but she knows he’s listening. “I-I don’t even know if they want to be found anymore. Or if they can be found. Maybe something’s happened to them and they’ve gone someplace I can’t follow, but I don’t know that either.”

She pauses, watching Natsu’s stony gaze soften, until he looks young and afraid and angry and upset. His face is heated despite the unseasonable cold. Lisanna’s words awe him, with her calmly delivered acceptance of what is and a peace he himself could never attain. She’s told him she is younger than him, but Natsu thinks she’s far wiser.

“Uncertainty can be enough to eat you alive, Natsu,” Lisanna says softly. “But it doesn’t have to. You don’t have to let it.” A smile crosses her face, like a temporary break in the clouds. “I wonder what happened to my siblings a lot, but I’m still here, still alive and searching, and because of that, I know there’s hope that they can be found. It’s enough to block out the uncertainty for now, anyways.”

Lisanna hadn’t meant to keep talking, but words had come to her and the look on Natsu’s face had driven her onwards. She doesn’t like to leave stories with an unhappy ending. To her, a purely sad ending is unrealistic in a way. Life carries on, with good times and bad times. It’s never just one or the other. So she keeps focusing on the good times she knows are coming and tries to help her new friend do the same. There is something to acknowledging pain and hurt that makes good times so much better. She knows they’ll get there someday, even if it’s only a bittersweet end to uncertainty.

“Wow, Lisanna,” Natsu’s face cracks a smile. “You’re pretty good.”

He stretches out his arms while smiling devilishly, seemingly back to his enthusiastic and determined self, but there’s a new feeling in his chest. It squeezes his heart tight and he’s not sure what it is. It reminds him of hope, it’s warm like affection, and he’s filled with undirected energy that’s desperate for somewhere to go. He’s yearning for something, several things, really. It’s intense and strange and familiar somehow.

“We’ve got families to look for now, don’t we?” he says, putting his arms behind his head. “That’s enough standing around.”

Lisanna rolls her eyes, but she laughs too, a simple sound that Natsu is sure holds more meaning than he thinks. The pressure in his chest lessens slightly for just a moment and Natsu thinks he knows what to do.

“Hey, I don’t suppose you’re up for a slightly longer team-up, are you?” he asks cautiously, in a voice that’s as close to shrewd as he gets. He thinks that she’ll accept and he knows the only thing he can do is ask, but uncertainty lingers in the back of his mind as it always does. He’s braced himself just in case.

Lisanna’s face lights up, her blue eyes shining, and if Natsu’s cheeks weren’t already red from his earlier anger, they would be now. He grins a lopsided grin as he listens for her answer, a matter of formality rather than confirmation.

“You bet I am,” she says, throwing out a hand theatrically. Natsu’s confused by the gesture, but his excitement overcomes that. Lisanna’s excitement is pretty great, too, albeit refined as happiness and affection.

“Alright!” Natsu exclaims. Then he changes tact slightly, aware of how he was putting himself out there. “I mean, it’ll be nice to have someone to share the lifestyle with.”

Lisanna can see through him, though, and she chides him gently, with a hand on her hip, a smile on her face, and several disapproving shakes of her pointer finger.

“Now, now, Natsu,” says Lisanna, feeling extremely happy despite her teasing tone. “You know it’s not just that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he startles, face flaming. He ducks his head to the side, turning his face away, trying to act more annoyed than embarrassed. For he is embarrassed, although he’s not sure why, and he doesn’t want to be caught out just yet.

“You’ll figure it out at some point,” Lisanna remarks instinctively. She’s not so sure she knows what she means herself. Pushing those thoughts aside for a later date, she reaches inside her jacket and pulls out a small collapsible red umbrella she bought from the gas station.

“Come on, Natsu,” she says, opening it and holding it over their heads. “Don’t we have families to find?”


	2. But I might just dare to say that I love you

It’s shaping up to be a good spring, with warm days and cool nights. The animals are coming back, much to Lisanna’s pleasure, and new life and new beginnings abound. In the area between Natsu’s old lodge and the town where Lisanna’s siblings disappeared, the rain has been letting up, allowing a pair of traveling wanderers a few more options as to where to spend the night. But unfortunately for them, tonight is cold and damp, the sky is dark, and the town they’ve found themselves in is unfamiliar. A more protective abode is in order, even though they’re running low on funds.

“Well we’ve got enough for one room at a motel or something,” Natsu reasons. “Let’s go there.”

“I don’t have any better ideas,” Lisanna agrees. “Lead the way.”

They walk along a quiet road, passing under dim streetlamps and automatically sticking close to each other. They have each come to rely on the other, for protection and for help. Natsu finds an odd sort of comfort in Lisanna’s presence and Lisanna feels safer, physically and mentally. In looking after Natsu, she has a purpose beyond finding her siblings.

Lisanna ends up spotting a motel first, for all that Natsu’s trying to lead the way. He grumbles as he opens the door for Lisanna, following behind her into the warm lobby. She giggles at his antics and the clerk at the counter raises an eyebrow. They act so very much like they’ve known each other for years and the clerk thinks that they could be in love. But the two carry on, oblivious, for a moment before reaching the counter and the clerk.

“Hey, we need a room,” Natsu tells the clerk. “What’ve you got?”

“We’ve got a room available,” says the clerk, trying not to laugh at the man’s crass phrasing. It was just a bit too in line with what the clerk had just been thinking, even though the comment certainly wasn’t meant that way.

“Alright, we’ll take it!” Natsu says with more emphasis than necessary. Lisanna rolls her eyes and grabs his arm, which he’d slammed into the counter out of enthusiasm.

“You haven’t even asked how much it is yet!” she scolds him, but her hand remains on his arm, a gentle reminder that she’s here too. Natsu grumbles for a moment, but it’s only a matter of principle. Her soft touch makes him feel calmer than words ever could and he’s not going to pretend he doesn’t appreciate it. He looks to her expectantly, waiting for her to ask the clerk for him.

“How much do you want for it?” Lisanna asks pragmatically. She tilts her head at the clerk, unaware Natsu is watching her and unaware of the captivating look in her eyes, an odd cross between concealed amusement and open acceptance. Lisanna considers herself quietly good at reading people, but she somehow always fails to notice how her unique way of looking at the world affects people around her. She’s almost a contradiction in terms, chiding and nurturing, realistic and hopeful.

“Fifty dollars,” the clerk says matter-of-factly, getting straight to business. The strange couple are an interesting diversion, but not as interesting as several apps on the phone currently hidden under the counter.

“Deal,” Lisanna says before Natsu can argue, knowing it’s the best offer they’re going to get. “Thanks for your help.”

They scrap together enough cash to purchase the room for one night, Natsu complaining about not getting to talk in one breath and complimenting Lisanna’s tact in the next. But as always, he moves on quickly, a grin or a scowl appearing on his face in equal measure. Natsu and Lisanna each have their dual natures.

When they reach their room, Natsu hesitates outside the doorway. It’s unlike him not to charge boldly ahead, Lisanna knows this, and she hesitates too, wondering what’s wrong. She trusts his instincts and she’s aware of his childishness and his reason for stopping could be linked to either. She has both of these things in mind as she turns to him questioningly.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Natsu?” Lisanna asks. “Is something wrong with our room?” She pauses before continuing with a curl of her lip. “Or are you going to be childish about us sharing?”

“What?! No!” Natsu exclaims, his face burning red. His flat-out denial of her second question says more than if he’d attempted to answer the first one.

“No, that’s not it,” he says insistently, trying to compose himself, trying to construct some sort of valid reason for his hesitation other than embarrassment. “I was just… waiting for you to go first. Like a gentleman.”

Lisanna laughs, missing the quick transition of expressions on Natsu’s face in her merriment. When she looks him in the face again, he’s schooled his expression into one of annoyance, but he can’t get rid of his blush. Lisanna feels affection rise in her at how disgruntled he looks and takes pity on him. He’s her friend, after all.

“It’s okay, I’m not judging you,” she tells him. “Even though you _are_ embarrassed by the idea of us sharing a room. But we’re working together to find our families, Natsu, and more than that, I’d like to say we’re friends. We only have enough money for one room, so we’re sharing. It’s all part of an arrangement that’s good for both of us.”

Natsu looks away and then looks back. “Okay. Fine then, Lisanna. Whatever I have to do to find my dad.”

He starts to enter their room when he stops again, for a different reason than last time. Natsu glances back at Lisanna, his expression rough and undefined.

“We are friends, aren’t we?” he says in a gruff voice. It’s not really a question, but Lisanna nods anyways and a grin breaks out across Natsu’s face. It’s a strange smile, more similar to a showing of fangs than an expression of happiness, but Lisanna is oddly pleased by it.

“I’m really glad we are,” he adds casually, his voice still gruff, and he tromps into their room to hide the heat in his cheeks. He thinks he’s blushed more in the short time he’s known Lisanna than he has in his entire life.

Lisanna follows him and closes the door behind them. “Me too. It’s nice.”

Natsu drops his backpack by the door and flops onto one of the two beds in the room-- it would seem they lucked out-- before stretching out. Either he doesn’t know about the possibility of bedbugs or he doesn’t care. Lisanna inspects the other bed a bit more carefully before sitting on it, watching Natsu make himself comfortable. After a moment, he turns to look at her too.

“So what’s our plan?” he asks, moving on from the declaration of friendship in what he hopes is an organic manner. It still lingers in the back of his mind, though, sending floods of warmth through his chest in a way that reminds him of Igneel.

“Keep searching the area where either of our families could be until we find a lead,” Lisanna says simply, understanding that Natsu’s question isn’t as vague as it sounds. When he asks what the plan is, he’s thinking about his goal. His family. Lisanna understands. Lisanna _knows_.

“Once we find a lead, for either of our families, we go after it together. We have a much better chance of success with our combined resources than we would on our own.”

As she speaks, Lisanna realizes how fond of this arrangement she has become. She tells herself she likes the practical aspect of it, having someone to watch her back and the few extra resources, but the truth is that the arrangement would be just as dear to her without the practical side. If she and Natsu were really just friends, companions of their own free will with no ulterior motive. And no families in need of finding.

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Natsu remarks carelessly. It truly does sound like a good plan to him, but his attention span is fading fast as he gets closer to falling asleep.

Lisanna is more serious as she shrugs off her backpack and sets it on the floor. The clothing she’s wearing is comfortable enough and she can’t be bothered to make the effort to change into sleepwear. It would be awkward with Natsu in the room, anyways, and he seems to be of the same mind. The pair of them settle in to sleep still wearing their day clothes, one of them getting up to turn off the lights. Lisanna tries to remember the last time she slept with someone else in the room, but all it brings up is sad memories.

“Any idea where we can find a lead?” Lisanna says to the ceiling as she lies on her back in the darkened motel room. She’s talking to Natsu, but a combination of tiredness and darkness makes the experience surreal. The room is quiet except for cars passing by outside.

“Not really,” Natsu says at last. “At least no better idea than you have.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

There is silence apart from Natsu and Lisanna’s slow breathing, the deep silence of a room containing only people who don’t intend to speak again for some time. But this sort of silence breeds thoughts that no other type of noiselessness does and Lisanna knows it. Worries and possibilities and questions rise up to the forefront of her mind and normally she could ignore them, try to anyways, but tonight she has a friend in the room and one question temporarily pushes aside the rest.

“Do you ever think about what you’ll do if you find him? Do you think about the future too, Natsu?”

Lisanna’s voice breaks into Natsu’s thoughts and he finds her words mirroring them. This kind of silence, the silence before sleep, always drags up thoughts of Igneel, of his goal, and it’s soothing to him to know this happens to someone else too. To Lisanna, even though she always seems so calm. He opens his mouth, unsure what he’s going to say but knowing he needs to offer Lisanna the same comfort he just found in knowing he’s not the only one. For once, he’s not alone with his thoughts. So maybe he can find peace in sharing them.

“Yeah…” he says to the ceiling, in a raw voice befitting his honesty. “I think about that kind of thing a lot.”

“It always seems sort of silly in the daylight,” Lisanna admits softly, “because finding my family could only be a good thing. But I don’t know how I’m going to adjust to it if it ever really happens.”

“You’ve been doing this for a long time, huh?” Natsu says. There’s almost a disconnection between the words he’s saying and how he’s saying them, but it’s clear to both of them that he’s scarcely even looking for confirmation to his statement.  Lisanna only nods sadly to herself, fully aware Natsu can’t see her.

“Have you been searching for a long time too?” Lisanna asks in quiet voice. She doesn’t want to break the soft spell that has settled over them both. It feels like they’ve slipped into the realm between consciousness and sleep, a place where the real world seems abstract, and Lisanna is very hesitant to leave it.

“Ever since he disappeared, almost ten years ago,” Natsu tells her, keeping his tone as matter-of-fact as possible. He’s always tried to remain optimistic, all throughout his life, and he thinks it’s served him well. “Igneel disappeared when I was ten and I’ve always been looking for him. Just only had the opportunity to get serious when I turned eighteen.”

Lisanna smiles wistfully, understanding the feelings that lie hidden behind Natsu’s straightforward tone. In that moment she’s certain she understands him completely, at least in this one aspect. No matter the differences in their circumstances, she knows the hurt he has buried. But it’s really not so bad anymore, she thinks. She’s all but gotten used to the knot of pain near her core. It’s become a part of her. And that pain is in Natsu as well. Maybe it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close, it’s similar, and Lisanna understands it.

The more Natsu and Lisanna talk, the greater the connection between them becomes. Lisanna tells Natsu how long she’s been searching, (four years, ever since her siblings disappeared when she was fourteen), and Natsu talks to her about his dad and where he used to live, (in a hunting lodge out in the wilderness, a beautiful and rugged place). It’s an odd sort of connection that neither of them have experienced before, but it chases away the worries and possibilities and questions and doubts, if only for the night. They find themselves quietly taken with the connection; it’s mending parts of them in a way they hadn’t realized they needed.

The next morning, the doubts and the hurt are still there, but just maybe, it’s not quite so hard to bear.

\--------------------------------------------

This city is big, far larger than the places Natsu normally likes searching in, but it’s near where Lisanna’s family disappeared and they have to get lucky at some point, right? They haven’t yet, so they must be due. And it’s a nice day out and this city has a park. Lisanna is beside him; Natsu can’t bring himself to complain.

The visiting hours of the records place they’re going to check out aren’t for a while. It is a Sunday, after all, and most of the places for local government that Lisanna’s been to have restricted hours on Sundays. But it’s a lazy Sunday and Lisanna’s drive is running low, so she can’t bring herself to complain either.

“We should go to the park while we wait,” Natsu says, relaxed with his hands held behind his head. The sun is shining on him and he looks rather like a cat sunning itself, blinking slowly in the light.

“Good idea,” Lisanna agrees. “I don’t have any better ones.”

The pair of them navigate through the city towards the park, weaving through traffic and other wandering pedestrians, two lost souls among many. There is a comfort in that anonymity, but not as much comfort as there is in not being alone. They find the park quickly and Natsu crows with triumph.

“Wow, this park is so orderly,” comments Lisanna, a strange child-like wonder in her voice. Natsu doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he likes it all the same.

“Yeah?” he asks. “What are parks like where you’re from?”

She smiles. “More rundown and wild. What about you? Didn’t the foster system ever get you to a park?”

Natsu shakes his head and grins in a baring of teeth. “They couldn’t hold me long enough. I grew up in forests and mountains and stuff. The really natural playgrounds.”

“I can just picture that,” Lisanna says fondly, with a lopsided turn to her smile. Without realizing it, she’s begun to speak fondly of Natsu more and more often. He hasn’t quite noticed yet, but their dynamic has grown to account for it. He smiles back at her.

“Alright,” Natsu says, stretching and changing the topic. “What are we supposed to do now? There aren’t any good climbing trees here and I’m not supposed to get my clothes dirty before we check out the archives.”

“Let’s just walk,” says Lisanna, amusement in her voice. “Everything looks so nice here and this is probably our only chance to see it before we go.”

Natsu complains about how that sounds boring, but it’s only a little bit by his usual standards. They follow the path through the park and Lisanna points out what she knows about the wildlife. Natsu is enjoying himself by the time his stomach starts to grumble. He’s been chattering away with stories and ideas between Lisanna’s comments on the park.

“We have some money for once,” Lisanna points out. “I’ll be right back.”

She turns around on the path, leaving Natsu looking confused, and backtracks to a hot dog vender. A few moments later, she returns to Natsu carrying food for both of them, bought fairly on this rare occasion.

“Oh, wow, thanks, Lisanna,” Natsu says greedily, practically rubbing his hands together in anticipation. He tries not to eat his hot dog too quickly, but it’s like fighting an uphill battle. The instinct is ingrained.

“You’re very welcome,” she replies, starting on a hot dog of her own.

The park makes a lovely distraction with food and a friend, but a while later Lisanna catches sight of the time. Visiting hours have been open for some time now. They had merely gotten distracted and forgotten. It was a nice feeling while it lasted, but the heavy leaden feeling of Lisanna’s determination settles back down on her like a familiar burden. It is time for them to get back to work. Mixed feelings abound, but are quickly brushed over.

“Look at the time, Natsu!” Lisanna exclaims. There is a clock tower near the edge of the park they had both failed to notice.

His eyes widen. “You’re right. We’ve got to go.”

Natsu and Lisanna find their way back to the previously closed archives and their traditional routine, but the memory of the warm sun and their walk through the park lingers. It pushes them onwards, makes them work harder, in the hopes that they can enjoy that experience again without the returning guilt once they remember. Maybe they can share the experience with their families someday. But first they have work to do.

\--------------------------------------------------

The sky is filled with stars in this dreary rundown neighborhood. Lisanna thinks it’s the only nice thing about this place. It’s dark and dingy and shapes scurry through the shadows, not enough to make her jump, but enough to set her on edge. She would normally never go to this part of a city at night. In the daytime, the cracked sidewalks and boarded-up buildings just look sad, but at nighttime the gloom has created an aura of menace and dread. Lisanna knows these shadier neighborhoods well, for if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all, but the cold night still seeps into her chest and she hurries along the sidewalk behind Natsu. She is only willing to go here at night for three people, one of them being him.

Natsu himself is only going through this maze of crumbling buildings for the sake of one person. They might have a lead on his father and so Natsu and Lisanna are trekking through the abandoned neglected streets of the outer city limits. It’s a place only people like him and Lisanna go to, Natsu thinks. Most people are lucky and live their lives without ever setting foot in this sort of undercity at night.

He thinks these things because without the distraction, Natsu is sure he will explode, his heart beat right out of his chest. He might have a lead. _He might see his father again_. This could be it. Luck could swing his way, but it never has before and this part of the city is filled with misfortune. He finds himself walking faster, desperate to know if his luck has changed or if he’s only here for another disappointment. Natsu needs his answer quick.

Their worn sneakers are at home with the cracked and crumbling sidewalk. No one would want to wear their best shoes here. Natsu and Lisanna don’t even have a pair. They wear their shoes and their wariness down further as they hurry along the sidewalk past derelict apartment buildings. Nothing is openly moving except for them.

“This is the right building, Natsu,” Lisanna whispers suddenly. He doesn’t question why she’s whispering. He can’t even reply because his heart is in his throat now, and he is trying to swallow awkwardly around it, his hands clenching into fists as he nods to her.

It’s a tall rundown building just like all the others, not a very pretty sight, but maybe structurally sound. Cracks run through the bricks, the only detail apart from the shattered windows. It is a great big rectangular block of a building, remarkable only in its state of decay, but Lisanna and Natsu’s heartrates spike when they enter it looking for a specific apartment and a lead.

The inside is just as decrepit as the out and there’s hardly even a lobby, just a dark hallway flanked by doors. Natsu has the number of the apartment they’re looking for imprinted in his mind as he takes off down the hallway like a bloodhound that’s caught the scent it’s after. He trusts that Lisanna’s following him, trusts that she’ll be there to help if needed, and doesn’t look back to check. The numbers are getting closer.

His breath catches in his chest when he reaches the apartment and he raises a hand to knock on the door. He can’t hear anything on the other side. Maybe the occupant is asleep, Natsu thinks optimistically.

He knocks on the door and it falls open, revealing an apartment that has clearly been empty for some time. There’s only a crooked table inside and a cardboard box, both thickly covered in dust. Natsu stumbles forward a fraction of a step, catching on the threshold.

They had been looking for someone who knew Igneel, who might have been able to help in the search. Any ally, any new information, would have been a blessing. Natsu’s father has been missing for longer than Lisanna’s family and each day that passes increases Natsu’s hopelessness, fraction by fraction. If he hasn’t found him in all this time, then who’s to say he can even be found?

In the back of his mind, Natsu realizes for the first time that he doesn’t want this fate for Lisanna, but the rest of him is consumed by anger, all-engulfing fury at the universe, at himself, at everything. Why does everyone else get to be happy, but not Natsu Dragneel? Why does luck never go his way? Why is he fated to always be alone?

Lisanna is behind him, peering over his shoulder into the darkened room. She isn’t surprised to see that there hasn’t been an occupant in some time. Disappointed, but not surprised. She had watched Natsu falter on the doorstep, deflating as his fragile hopes were crushed, and now her heart breaks to watch her friend fill with anger at his misfortune. She knows how he feels, but almost thinks it might be worse for him. Natsu feels everything so intensely, even when he tries to hide it, and if the letdown of a false lead is enough to make Lisanna punch a wall, she can’t imagine the turmoil boiling inside of him.

Lisanna’s hand comes forward to rest on his shoulder and Natsu’s breath hitches. He had forgotten that for once he isn’t alone. Not entirely, anyways.

He sinks to his knees on the dusty floor, staring into the darkness of the abandoned apartment. He slams his fist into the doorframe with all the energy he can muster before letting his arm slide down and fall to his side. As much as he would like to hang onto it, his anger is fading, leaving only a cold and empty sense of hopelessness. He can still feel Lisanna’s hand on his shoulder, but it’s a dim afterthought compared to the four words pounding through his skull: _I’ll never find him_.

Natsu himself is lost in a miasma of pain as Lisanna slowly drags him to his feet. There’s no point hanging around here anymore. If no one has lived here in ages, the structural security is even more in question than the outside would suggest and as they have managed to book a place with a bed for once, Lisanna is even more eager to retreat to it. No one likes staying in this part of a city for longer than they have to, anyway.

“Come on, Natsu,” Lisanna says softly. “Let’s go.”

He is limp and lifeless as she leads him outside, his strong muscles doing the bare minimum of the work required to move him over the doorstep, across the street, and back the way from which they’d come. He remains lost to the world during the entire journey and Lisanna can’t blame him one bit. He’s lucky to have a friend to guide him to the closest thing he has to a home and it’s really a miracle that they have each other. Lisanna knows what happens without someone else there, knows what it’s like to be alone and to be lost, so she tries to guide him to their motel room and tries not to think of how long he would have sat there by himself in the apartment without her.

The motel room is small and dark and exactly what they’re both used to, a square space taken up by beds and a night stand and a TV they never use. Natsu sits down on one of the beds and looks around the room with unregistering eyes before covering his face with his hands and crumpling forward. The mattress squeaks in the quiet room.

As Lisanna starts to move towards him, he manages to mutter something.

“Tired,” he says in a dull voice. “Might go to sleep now.”

“It has been a long day,” Lisanna agrees. She had meant it to sound tactful, but it came out more gentle, almost melancholy. Sometimes it feels like every day is a long day for the two of them.

There are no lights to turn off as they prepare for bed, silently stripping to underclothing in what is now second nature. It is dark and if either had wicked intentions, they would have found out long ago. Modesty is not an issue now when each have come as close as they could to sharing their soul with the other and while in happier times they would have exchanged banter, the current mood makes it hard to find humor in the situation.

Lisanna stuffs their clothing into a backpack and watches Natsu sit motionless on the bed again. He’s shutting down and so Lisanna coaxes him into a sleeping position, trying to arrange it so a blanket’s mostly covering him. He curls up on his side, his eyes closed, but he has somehow gotten ahold of her hand.

“Stay,” he says in a raw voice as Lisanna tries to pull away. “Please.”

“Okay.”

She gets into the bed beside him and stretches beneath the covers. They’re pleasantly cool and decently soft by her standards, which are admittedly lower than most, but what she really notices is the faint hints of Natsu’s warmth she can feel even though he’s a solid foot away. Only their hands touch, but it’s more than enough. She closes her eyes and reality drifts away from her except for the feel of Natsu’s calloused hand in hers.

\----------------------------------------------------

The room is bland and plain and boring, all straight lines and low ceilings and a singular dusty shelf of records, but Natsu’s vivid hair and casually exaggerated actions make the record room tolerable for Lisanna. She watches him lean back in his chair, so far he might tip over, and complain while studying a newspaper. It’s not really such a bad way to spend a day.

Lisanna’s mind starts to wander, not for the first time that day, and she thinks of what they’ll do after they finish with the records. At this point it feels like it’s unlikely they’ll find anything of value here, so they’ll probably return to the place they’re staying and head out to somewhere else on their list the next morning. She pictures grabbing Natsu’s hand as they walk back to their motel and it’s a very enjoyable thought to let herself entertain for a moment. But then she shakes her head, sighs, and begins reading again.

“This one’s kind of interesting,” Natsu says, screwing up his eyes in concentration as he examines the page. “It’s all stuff about the natural disaster that separated you from your family.”

“I don’t suppose it mentions where any survivors of the storm were taken to…?” Lisanna asks wistfully, her hopes not lifted in the slightest.

Natsu’s eyes widen. “B-But it does! Look here, Lisanna, it says that some injured survivors wound up in a different town! Your siblings could’ve been with them.”

Lisanna’s breath catches in her throat. The possibility of her siblings having been moved to a different city was something they’d often discussed, along with the possibility of Igneel having been arrested as Natsu insisted the only reason he wouldn’t have returned to him would be if he wasn’t able to. It is now looking stunningly plausible for her siblings to be in that city, or at least some trace of them. Lisanna’s carefully weighted hopes begin to rise despite everything and she goes to scan the newspaper article eagerly.

Natsu watches Lisanna’s face light up in hope with something akin to awe swelling in his chest. Hope is a beautiful expression to see on her face and he starts to feel hopeful himself, or maybe just plain excited. It doesn’t matter either way because he’s grinning now, feeling rather pleased with himself, and Lisanna sets down the newspaper, turning to him, looking radiant in his eyes. She might be tired and wearing unwashed clothes, but she’s beautiful. He considers telling her this, debates the idea for a moment as he finds himself prone to doing, when—

She swoops forward and kisses him.

It’s simple and it’s straightforward and it’s soft. Lisanna holds Natsu’s head between her hands, a firm but gentle guiding touch, as she presses her lips to his and tries to memorize the feel of them, of him, of this precise moment. There’s not passion behind the kiss, exactly, but there’s excitement and hope and Lisanna knows that’s just as good for what it is. A kiss of love.

Natsu’s hands find and cup Lisanna’s face, his thumbs resting over her cheekbones. He wants her to know he’s committed to the kiss too, but he’s also largely acting on instinct, all mental function shutting down to be replaced by something sharp and sweet and spectacularly good. If he had to put a name to it, he’d call it bliss, but he’s not sure if that’s quite what it is. It’s beautiful, though. He knows this for sure.

The kiss breaks slowly when they let each other go. When they’ve disentangled themselves, Lisanna hops up onto the table so she can continue to look at Natsu up close. He’s just how he is, a bit of a mess and a bit of a kid and a bit of a goof, and he’s perfect just like that. Lisanna can’t help but love him, though she bites her lip in worry at the thought.

“Uh,” Natsu hesitates a moment longer before finally blurting out, “You look beautiful, you know? I mean, I noticed earlier, but—er—now seemed like a better time to say that kind of thing.”

Lisanna can’t hold onto her worry any longer when Natsu is going around saying things like that. She laughs and smiles and takes Natsu’s hand, content to push worry away to the back of her mind for now. There are more important things to think of.

“Thanks, Natsu,” Lisanna says cheerfully. She sounds possibly the happiest Natsu’s ever heard her. “You’re pretty cute yourself.”

\------------------------------------------------

The city is loud, carefree, and carelessly big. Commuters and pedestrians scroll through the city with purpose, a background hum of speech and motion. The bus is like a smaller version of the city, unfamiliar, noisy, and full of people. But it’s not unpleasant, at least not for Lisanna. She is excited by the city and what it has to offer. Natsu, on the other hand, is just trying not to throw up. He hates vehicles with a passion and the distinctly urban scent of exhaust fumes in the air doesn’t help matters. He’d complained about it when they first got on the bus, but he had agreed to it nonetheless. There is no way he is going to let something like motion-sickness get in the way of a search, whether it is for his family or Lisanna’s.

There is a loud screech when the bus slows to a stop, followed by a hiss and a _thunk_. Natsu’s too far gone to notice, but Lisanna sits up straight in her seat and looks towards the front of the bus. The chatter intensifies and the driver shouts for people to get off.

“Come on, Natsu, we’re here,” Lisanna says, shaking his shoulder gently. She slips her hand into his and begins dragging him off the bus.

Their worn sneakers hit the pavement and before they have time to turn around, the bus is pulling away. Lisanna twists to check out their new surroundings, still clutching Natsu’s hand automatically. He doesn’t pull away. Instead he stares forward and tries to force air into his lungs, breathing until his nausea disappears. Then he reenergizes himself and excitedly prepares to explore the city. Discovering someplace new always excites him, flooding him with renewed vigor and hope.

“Right, so where are we going?” he asks, itching to take action. Lisanna almost finds it hard to believe he was desperately motion-sick a few moments ago.

“The big one is the city’s main hospital,” she says, pointing using their entwined hands. “It’s that way. But we can look into other places, too. Where do you think we should go?”

Natsu hesitates before answering. “The main hospital then. We can look into the other places later. Or, I don’t know, stop on the way or something. Either option’s fine.”

“Are you sure about this, Natsu?” Lisanna asks, concerned as they start towards the hospital. It’s the best lead they’ve ever found for Lisanna’s family and it’s sent her thoughts into a messy jumble of hope and worry, but she’s aware that Natsu’s being selfless. He wants to look for her family first, despite the uncertainties.

They’ve talked about how they’d each like to meet each other’s family in the past. It’s always been a hopeful and exciting topic of discussion, invigorating and blindly optimistic, filled with phrases like “when I find him” and “you’ll like her once you get to know her” and “I can’t wait to ask him about that”. It’s almost like playing pretend,  imagining a world full of certainty and happiness, but standing on the brink of unparalleled joy or more heartbreak, Lisanna can’t believe in that sort of perfect happiness now. After all, even if she is reunited with her siblings, who is to say Natsu will be reunited with his dad?

She cuts off that train of thought before it can go any further, her stomach leaping at the possibilities and uncertainties. The only thing Lisanna is certain of is the person standing beside her, she reminds herself. And so he is enough for now.

“Of course I’m sure,” Natsu says carelessly, finding it easier to insist on his point when pressed by Lisanna. If she doubts his ability to put her first then he’s going to prove her wrong, no matter how much he might want to search for his father. And no matter how worried he is about losing her if she finds her family.

Natsu shakes himself mentally, trying to force humor into his train of thought. He’s worrying about losing Lisanna when they haven’t even found her family yet. He tells himself it’s ridiculous and tries to put it out of his mind. For all he knows, they might not even find another lead at the hospital. And either way, he knows he wants Lisanna to be happy above everything else. His worries, his search, don’t matter so much as hers right now. He knows she would do the same for him. She already has on the occasions they’ve found a lead for his father.

“Come on, let’s get moving,” he says to Lisanna, smiling roguishly and picking up his pace. “This is a big deal, you know, and we’re wasting time just walking to the hospital! Walking’s no fun anyways.”

“Whoa! Natsu…” Lisanna exclaims, laughing, as he starts running down the sidewalk, dragging her with him. The other pedestrians give them strange looks, but they just laugh some more, getting excited as the main hospital looms in their vision.

 _This could it_ , Lisanna thinks. _This could really be it_.

Natsu pushes open the door, inhales the sterile scent of the hospital, and he and Lisanna walk in together, absorbing the new setting with the automatic skill of longtime travelers. They approach the front desk with suppressed excitement, pounding hearts and a giddy buzz bordering on the edges of their senses.

“How can I help you?” asks a professionally bored clerk. She’s sitting in front of a computer, sizing them up with detached interest because it’s not immediately clear why they’re there. The two appear to be travelers, perhaps people on a quest as there’s something determined in their stances, and so the clerk reluctantly gives them her full attention.

“I’m Lisanna Strauss,” the white-haired girl says politely, “and this is Natsu. We’re looking for people. Specifically, a Mirajane Strauss and an Elfman Strauss. Have they ever been seen here? They both have my hair color and general coloration. They’re my siblings after all.”

The clerk raise an eyebrow and shrugs. “I’ll check the records.”

Lisanna tenses, trying not to drill a hole in the back of the computer with her stare. Her focus is absolute until Natsu squeezes her hand, humming with barely repressed excitement. Lisanna is used to waiting, but this time she doesn’t have to wait long. There’s a dinging noise from the computer and the clerk looks over the waiting pair with interest.

“It says a Mirajane Strauss and an Elfman Strauss have both been in this hospital on multiple occasions.”

The simple statement causes Lisanna’s heartrate to spike, her world spinning before solidifying into a point. Oblivious to the clerk’s stare, she raises her hands to cover her mouth, eyes wide and shining and still visible, the bright blue that Natsu loves. She’s sure Natsu’s glanced over at her, dimly thinks he might be experiencing some whirlwind of emotion himself, but then she’s taking in a deep, shuddering breath and trying to hold herself together in front of the clerk, too busy existing to ask the question Natsu’s opening his mouth to utter.

“Do you know where we could find them?” he asks hoarsely.

The puzzled clerk nods.

\-------------------------------------------------

It’s surprisingly windy in the streets of this town. Lisanna’s hair is just about long enough for being blown into her face, tickling her skin gently as she stands in front of a tall brick building, and it’s something she’s never considered before. She’d never thought of there being wind on the day she gets to see her siblings again. Reality sinks into every fiber of her being and she shivers.

“Nice day, don’t you think?” Natsu says optimistically, tilting his head towards Lisanna. “It’s really turned around from earlier. And the wind makes my hair look cool.”

Lisanna looks at his hair, startled, and laughs at the strange patterns the wind is carving into it. Natsu’s cheerful demeanor increases further, becoming more genuine at the sound of her laughter. He’s so very glad to be here and he wants to appreciate every second of it. Lisanna’s presence in his life has come to mean the world to him, her journey alongside his a wonderful and spectacular thing. And so if she’s reaching a part of the journey he hasn’t made it to yet, he’s glad to be along for the ride beside her.

“Yeah, sure, Natsu,” Lisanna teases. “Cool is exactly the word I’d use.”

“I have a way with words,” he says, smiling impishly and leaning in to nuzzle Lisanna’s neck for a moment, as if he is a cat trying to comfort her. He loves the way she smells, the way she feels, the warmth of her skin and the beat of her pulse. He’s excited to see what happens next in their story and he moves to slip his hand into hers.

“Ready,” Lisanna affirms without Natsu having to ask. Her state of alarm has faded to the detached feeling of her blood rushing through her veins and her heart pounding strongly. It reminds her of two other times in her life, two separate instances of intensity, and she thinks, she knows, she’s making history right now. This moment will become a memory to look back on for years to come, like when she lost her siblings and when she found Natsu. Lisanna takes a deep breath.

They walk up the front steps to the apartment holding hands. It’s a nice place, very simple, but just from the outside it’s everything a pair of travelers could want in a home. Smooth white-painted stone steps lead to a white trim wooden door and everything is clean and neatly arranged. Creamy colors and smooth lines make the front of the apartment inviting despite its small size and Lisanna appreciates that as she stands on the landing in front of the door. Natsu is at her side, examining a bench with some flowers on it that decorates the entrance to the home. He looks confused, but interested, by the frivolity of it.

“Hey,” Natsu says suddenly as Lisanna is lifting her hand to the door to knock. She lets her hand fall and turns to him, nervousness spiking and heart jumping wildly.

“A kiss for luck,” he says seriously, cupping her cheek. Lisanna giggles despite herself and agrees.

“Sure,” she whispers, a half smile on her lips before Natsu kisses her and she forgets everything apart from the feel of his mouth on hers and the taste of their shared breathing.

Natsu knows he isn’t a particularly good kisser, but with Lisanna it’s easy to forget that. He wouldn’t say kissing her comes naturally to him, but he would gladly spend a lifetime perfecting it. With any luck, he’ll get the chance. She’s kissing him back with far more skill than he can muster and the hand not cupping her cheek twitches with unreleased energy. Lisanna’s kisses are electrifying and he can only assume his are acceptable too because she hasn’t pulled away from him yet. It’s breathtaking in every sense of the word.

Lisanna inhales sharply when they finally break the kiss and smiles softly, her hands automatically moving to set herself to rights. Natsu steadies his breathing too and Lisanna knocks on the door, feeling an oddly manageable mix of happiness and panic. She still isn’t entirely prepared for when the door opens.

Mirajane Strauss stands here, wearing an expression of polite concern that’s so familiar Lisanna feels she may implode from déjà vu. Her heart skips several beats.

“H-Hi, Mira,” Lisanna manages around the lump in her throat.

Natsu takes a step back to watch and sees something dawning on Mirajane’s face. There’s a moment of stunned silence, awe as the impossible takes everyone’s breath away, and then Lisanna smiles like daybreak, tilting her head as joyful tears fill her eyes.

“It’s me, Lisanna,” she says needlessly. Her voice breaks in the best way Natsu can imagine and he watches Mirajane stumble forward like she’s in a dream and trying not to wake up. Her hand stretches out and grasps Lisanna’s shoulder before pulling her in with a tenderness that astounds Natsu. To see such raw emotion openly displayed is beautiful and discomforting. He doesn’t say anything as the reunion continues, but he can feel his heart mending and breaking in his chest along with theirs, though not a whisper of it shows on his face.

He isn’t jealous of Lisanna’s happiness, but the feeling of satisfaction and pleasure at the turn of events is still tempered by his own brand of sadness, the feeling of loss that hasn’t left him in years except for a few shining moments… Natsu knows now that he has reason to hope, that Lisanna’s success can mirror his own, but he can’t help feeling bittersweet watching the reunion. He’s happy for her, but it reminds him of what he’s lost.

Natsu is just thinking that he’s glad he at least has Lisanna when uncertainty, clammy and familiar, seizes him for a moment as a question rises to the forefront of his mind. _How do I know Lisanna will even stay with me now?_ he wonders in sudden panic. It’s a dark thought, cold and untrusting and born of abandonment, but try as he might, Natsu can’t wipe it from his mind. He just knows that now that he’s found Lisanna, he wants her to stay.

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The living room of the Strauss’ apartment smells almost like cinnamon. It’s as small as Natsu and Lisanna expected, judging it from the outside, but it’s cozy and nice and, wonder of wonders, _personalized_. Even in the dark, staring absently at the ceiling from his position on the couch, Natsu can tell that people live here. The other two Strauss siblings have built themselves a life, which includes the worn sofa and fuzzy blanket Natsu is currently trying, and failing, to sleep using. These objects are used by real people every day and they contain fragments of a life being lived. Natsu can’t get over that, even more so because they’re letting him use them too. He didn’t even have to _pay_.

Now that he thinks about it, it has been a long, long time since he’s slept anywhere like this place. But it’s pleasant, he notes. Like he has friends and a life just from being here. He finds himself hoping that he really does, that he can stay in this feeling forever, and his awareness of Lisanna’s presence across the room heightens. He wonders what she’s thinking right now, falling back on his question from earlier with a sense of dread, until he can’t take it anymore, all his hopes and uncertainties and thoughts and feelings.

“Hey, Lisanna, are you there?” he asks, gazing at the ceiling with a sense of mild déjà vu.

“Of course I am,” comes the reply. “Where else would I be?”

He feels like at another time he would have gotten mad, or at least annoyed, but her words are so very much what he needed to hear at that moment that he can’t bring himself to muster anything other than happiness.

“Well I meant if you’re awake or not, but I should’ve guessed you’d still be up,” Natsu says, smiling to himself. Then he pauses for a moment, pondering his next words.

“So what’s the plan?” he asks, a soft noise filling the space as he rolls over on the couch to stare across the room. Lisanna’s taken a different piece of furniture, the only other one available, but he’s just glad she’s still in the same place as him. It would be so weird now for her not to be and the realization just strengthens his desire to have this conversation.

“I—“ Lisanna thinks for a moment.

“I’m not sure,” she admits. But then she smiles, remembering something she is sure of. “I know I want to make sure I stay with you, Natsu.”

Saying it out loud is surprisingly one of the easiest things she has ever done and Lisanna wonders when she reached that point. She is only telling the truth, but the truth in regards to Natsu is beautiful. She feels like she’s glowing, lighting up the room with her love, and it’s completely unexpected only in how obvious and natural it really is.

“Yeah!” Natsu blurts out. “I want to stay with you too.” He pauses, averting his eyes for a moment, and then whispers, “I love you, Lisanna. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

The words cut through the room and strike Lisanna in the heart, making her breath catch in her chest and a smile spread across her face. “I love you too, Natsu.” Still beaming, Lisanna shakes back her hair and laughs. “Of course I do. How could I not?”

A matching grin breaks out on Natsu’s face, but it falters as he remembers the problem.

“I.. wouldn’t be able to stand not being by your side, but I can’t give up my search for Igneel,” he says quietly. He is baffled by this apparent paradox, his thoughts turning troubled, and frustration begins to gnaw at him. “What am I supposed to do?”

“What are we supposed to do,” Lisanna corrects. “We already said we aren’t going to lose each other. I’m going to stay with the people I love for all my life if I can manage it now, Natsu, and you’re one of those people. The trouble is… how do we find our last missing piece?”

“If I knew that, I’d have found him already,” Natsu complains. There’s no malice behind it, though. He’s been soothed by Lisanna’s words and reassurances, leaving him feeling oddly at peace with the situation, as much as he’s ever been, anyway. It reminds him of something. He thinks back to their first late-night conversation and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“I don’t know how to search when I’m stuck in one place, but I guess we can work something out,” he says, playing at nonchalance and grinning slightly. “A change of tactics might be just what I need to finally find him.”

“Ha, I’m glad you think so, Natsu,” Lisanna says cheekily, seeing through his bluff. “But you’re right… with Mira and Elf’s resources, we might stand a chance at succeeding. We’ve never had a car at our disposal before…”

“Wow, you’re right,” Natsu says, getting excited. He’s suddenly wide awake and hopeful. “There’s tons of stuff we can do now we’ve got a home base!”

The conversation devolves into a list of their new resources and hope. Natsu and Lisanna think of places to look and things to do, and of the people they love and the happiness they share. It’s such a nice way to spend the night that they don’t fall asleep till near the morning light seeps through the windows. When Natsu falls asleep all he can think of is loves lost and found. His hope for the future is determined and bright, an inextinguishable flame.

It’s not so bad a life for either of them to settle on at all.


End file.
